There’s a great short story I want to share with all
of you. The story is about a king who asks these scholars to create a ring that will make him happy when
he is sad. After deliberation the group creates him a simple ring with the
words "This too will pass" etched on it, which has the desired effect
to make him happy when he is sad thus it became a curse whenever he is happy.
This story has a lot of different ways it’s told but the just of it is simply
that regardless of what mood you are in, it will pass.
I like this story and can’t believe it took me so long to
hear about it. One thing I've learned in work, at home, and in just about
anything I do, this present situation will pass. Mad about the jerk who
cut me off on the way home, my anger will soon pass. Can’t stand the pain
of passing a kidney stone, literally it will pass. Frustrated with a
situation or person at work, this too will pass. Embarrassed about
something I did, it’s going to pass. Happy about winning a bike race, sadly
this will pass. Really happy about the 7 beers I just drank, this too
will pass (and likely lead to a headache tomorrow.)
Last month I sent a really stupid email that was the subject
of our last leadership topic. Man, I’m still embarrassed by that but
after it happened I was so angry at myself, for days. I was mad at the
situation it created for me, my team, the project, and my management. The
thought to quit did cross my mind and how much easier that would be (though it
would have been a very temporary fix that would have led to even bigger
problems.) In the end I remembered that this too will pass. It
didn’t pass fast enough but it did pass and I’m thankful to be out of that
situation.
While we all probably wish we could stay on the highs and fast
forward through the lows, it simply doesn't work like that. Nothing
really works like that. If it did these highs wouldn't be highs anymore,
they’d just be normal everyday events. Think of a drug user. A
person starts out using a toxic substance until eventually their high becomes a
normal state of being and then for them to get high on this new state of being
requires even more of the substance until this too becomes the norm. The
cycle continues until they are classified an addict. This is an extreme
case but hopefully you get my point, staying on a high is not sustainable.
I like to believe that the lows we experience make us better
appreciate the highs and the norm. When you’re going through a low or a
time of frustration or whatever uncomfortable state you are in, it’s hard to
think about the positives of being in such a state because typically we’re
focused on getting out of it. These uncomfortable states will pass just
like the euphoric ones we crave will also come and pass. Until it passes,
we often look for a quick fix out of the discomfort. In my example above
quitting was a quick fix but it didn't really get me out of the situation and
ultimately would have created more and bigger issues. Ultimately I had to
work my way out the old fashion way and take my lumps along with it.
Next time you’re dealing with a tough situation that isn’t
necessarily ideal or what you envisioned, try to remember that this situation
will pass. As a leader you’re going to have to deal with a lot more of these
situations than you may desire to deal with. Recognize this too will pass
and start working your way out by addressing the issue and not just the
discomfort of being in a low. This brings me to another great story about
eating an elephant but I’ll save that one for another time…
