Beliefs

Leaders,

I thought I’d talk today about beliefs.  Dictionary.com defines beliefs as something believed; an opinion or conviction.  It also defines conviction as a fixed or firm belief.  For the purposes of this discussion we’ll call beliefs the assumptions, opinions, and understandings one has in regards to something.  Beliefs can be strong enough to die for (think of a jihadist) or passive enough that they don’t really matter (strawberry is better than chocolate.)  It’s easy to form beliefs and they are the basis for how we make our day-to-day decisions big and small, conscious and subconscious. 

While this topic on beliefs could go in many different directions, for now I want to focus on two areas.  The first is awareness that if you are in disagreement with someone, you may not be able to bring them around to your beliefs on the subject.  The second is for you to be aware that your beliefs may be wrong and could be causing you some undue stress. 

Since our beliefs are built around our experiences, conclusions, assumptions, learnings, and just life itself, we will often have different beliefs than someone else.  Because our beliefs are built around what we know (or think we know) it’s in our nature to believe we are right and anyone who has a different take is wrong.  When this happens we will typically try to tell the person why our beliefs are right and why theirs are wrong.  If you’re anything like me your beliefs are always right and anyone who thinks otherwise is just wrong!    I don’t care what your story is or why you believe what you do, you’re just wrong and I’m going to tell you why.   Sound familiar?  What happens if the other person also thinks like me? 

What happens when you have two or more people with differing beliefs?  You get friction.   Maybe even conflict.  If you believe a Ford truck is better and I believe a Chevy is better we’re not in alignment.  You could tell me all day long how you grew up with Fords, Chevy’s are junk, your uncles Chevy was always in the shop, your Ford hauls a trailer better, etc.  This is what we typically do when we’re not in alignment, we tell the other person they are wrong and that our beliefs are right.  Then we proceeded to tell them why we are right in some far out hope that they somehow see the light and instantly switch their beliefs.  This seldom if ever works yet 9 times out of 10 we do this very thing.   Ever try to tell someone why your religion is better than theirs?  How about trying to get your friend or a stranger to believe that your spouse is the greatest spouse on the planet?   From your prospective you do believe your religion is the best religion and if you’re married you better believe your spouse is the best on Earth, you hold these beliefs to be true.  If these are indeed true, how can someone else with a differing belief tell you they are not and be right in their mind?

What I’d like for all of you to take away from this is that sometimes you have to recognize that you aren’t going to change someone’s beliefs.  In the rare case that you do it’s not because you did the work, it’s because that person decided to change their belief(s).  While you may have all the evidence in the world that you are right, until that other person is ready to change their beliefs you two will continue to be out of alignment.  While certainly uncomfortable and frustrating it’s okay to be out of alignment.  Understand that by trying to “convince” the other person why they are wrong or why they need to change their belief is likely going to cause you more discomfort and frustration than if you simply accepted it for what it is.  You cannot change a person’s beliefs, only the person can change their beliefs.  This is where openly listening to the other person and their reasoning for a belief without judgement comes in to play and this skill is key to be a good influencer and a leader.  This takes us in to our second topic.

The last thing I want to talk about is your own beliefs.  You are who you are based on your beliefs.  Everything you do in your life consciously and subconsciously is based off of your beliefs.  Our minds are constantly looking for proof that our beliefs are indeed true.  Our mind seldom works to disprove our beliefs.  It’s important that you understand this.  You need to be aware of your beliefs and sometimes you need to question them.  For example, suppose you believe one of your coworkers to be dumb.  You will consciously and subconsciously continually look for things this person does to back up your belief.  You won’t naturally look for or notice things that disprove your belief; but you will continue to look for evidence confirming your belief.  There’s a lot of science and history behind this and I’ll leave that to you to track down if you’re interested. 

Using some more examples, I’ll give you all a little bonus section that could help you today.  Perhaps some of you may have a problem with a co-worker, friend of a friend, and maybe you think such-and-such is out to get you?   Maybe you think your spouse is cheating (I hope this isn’t the case for any of you)?  Maybe you think our company is going down the drain?  When you have these kinds of beliefs or any other belief that weighs heavily on you, ask yourself is this true or am I simply looking for things to confirm my unfounded belief?  Are their signs you are overlooking to disprove your beliefs?  Are your beliefs grounded in fact or subjective tidbits?  When you take some time and think about these things you might find that indeed your beliefs were just wrong and you were getting worked up for nothing.  In the case that your troubling beliefs are true, that’s a topic for another day.

Some of you who worked with me in the path know about my epiphany I had last year.  Sometime last year I finally realized my beliefs were getting the best of me.  I firmly believed that some people in our organization got up in the morning with the sole desire to come to work and screw things up.  I started looking for things they did to confirm this and I found a lot of confirmation.  The truth is, while it’s really easy to believe, nobody actually gets up to come to work to screw things up.  I was just focused on reaffirming my beliefs of these unfortunate people.  They may be less than great at their job but they don’t intestinally get up to come in and screw things up.  More importantly, it was me who was causing myself and others a lot of undue stress by letting my unfound beliefs run amuck.  When I realized this it really helped me grow as a leader and a person. 

The takeaway for today is for you all to be a little more aware of beliefs and the challenges they can create for you and those around you.   Remember that you aren’t going to easily change someone’s beliefs.  If someone does change their beliefs it’s because they decided to not because you changed them.  (There is actually an art to helping others change their beliefs but it’s outside the scope of this writing.)  Respect the other person’s beliefs even if they aren’t in alignment with yours.  Lastly, make sure your beliefs aren’t unnecessarily leading you down a path of added stress and frustration.

The Scorpion and the Frog

One of my favorite little fables is about the Scorpion and the Frog.  In the story, a scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too." The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "It’s my nature.”  I like this story because it makes me think about myself and some of the dumb things I do because it’s my nature. 

We all have those things that are just in our nature.   These are typically bad habits that are detrimental to our success.   For me, this morning, I’m sitting at my desk shaking my head and beating myself up over something I did that is just in my nature.  I sent an email when I was angry.  I know better than to do this.  I’ve done it before and yet despite the experience of living through the repercussions of past emails in anger, despite knowing better, I still sent another.  The current one is probably one of the worst.  I own it; I did it; now I have to live with the fallout as well as all those it affected and those who have been drawn in to my irresponsible action. 

Abraham Lincoln once wrote a letter to General Meade after the battle of Gettysburg.  Lincoln was so angry with Meade he was going to relieve him of his command and ultimately his commission.  Lincoln sat on the letter and never sent it.  Ultimately things worked themselves out.  Lincoln was known for taking time to cool off before he responded to situations.  This story is often cited in communications training, books, and lectures as an example of waiting 24 hours to send an angry response.  I know this rule, I can tell you the story of Lincoln, I know waiting 24 hours is the thing to do and yet it’s in my nature to do what I did – not wait.

I don’t know why I sent that email.   Ego?  Pride?  Frustration?  I sat there hovering over the send button knowing it was dumb.  I knew not to do it.  I knew I’d regret it and yet I still hit send.  I did this in the airport terminal as I was leaving the country for vacation.  The whole time I was on vacation this email and its fallout were on my mind.  While I may have been on vacation my mind was in its own little prison as I continually beat myself up over sending the email.  Today is my first day back in the office and there is indeed fallout.   Not only have I damaged relationships, I’ve put a few of my people in a tough spot and I’ve put my chain of command and a few friends in similar tough spots.  It was just dumb, senseless, and completely uncalled for.   I embarrassed and ashamed of my actions.  I’ll likely be working for months trying to fix this stupid mistake.

I share this with you first as an example of what not to do.  Regardless of how mad, frustrated, or hurt you are, give yourself a chance to calm down before you respond to the person who set you off.  Second, use this as a reminder that angry emails and communications should never be had.  Again, you should take the time to cool off and think before getting drawn in to such a conversation.   Next, take a minute to identify your negative “it’s my nature” habits and be very aware of them.  Work to make them no longer a part of your nature.   Lastly, when you do this kind of thing, take responsibility for it and own it.  It doesn’t help the situation looking for a place to put the blame or trying to deflect it.  Simply own it, apologize, and start rebuilding the havoc you created.  With that said, it’s a lot easier to simply just not do it in the first place…

Business Acumen

Leaders,

In my work on the committee of a diversity group focused on woman I have learned quite a bit in regards to diversity. It’s interesting that a lot of the material that we go through to help woman can equally bring value to anyone who wishes to advance. One of the areas we (the council) are looking at is the subject of today’s email, business acumen.

In a Ted Talk labeled “The career advice you probably didn't get”, Susan Colantuono talks about how many woman leaders and hi-potential candidates focus too much on soft skills. Ultimately Susan believes that they don’t have the business, strategic, and financial knowledge (I’ll sum these three up as business acumen) that is expected of them to obtain higher positions. While this talk is geared toward woman, it easily applies to anyone who is looking to advance.

When I was in IT I thought I knew quite a bit about our business. Where IT people are concerned, I did know a lot. The reality of just how little I knew came quickly when I moved to Operations. Operations has shown me that there are so many more moving pieces to our organization and while I had a nice high level understanding of our company, my understandings were not entirely correct and in most cases they were quite incomplete. Today I am working to fill the gaps and create a more complete understanding of our business. I don’t believe it would have been possible had I not been given this opportunity because I simply had no idea how little I actually knew.

Do you know how we make money? It’s a simple question but do you understand how exactly we make money? Do you know how much money we actually make off of what we do? Do you know where all the money we make goes and how it is spent? Do you understand what part corporate plays in our business unit's operation? Where does your individual contribution hit our organization’s financial sheet? Is your contribution in line with the company’s current financial situation and strategy? Do you know how to align your duties and strategies or those of your team, to the company’s? Can you relay to your people these things and help them see how their work and contributions are in alignment (or out of alignment) with the company’s strategy?

I won’t ask if you all know the health of our company. If you’re on this distribution list and you actually read it, you’ll know that. Are you using the company’s health as a guide to what you should be doing in your role? You must learn to do this now. If you can’t align people as a supervisor or manager, how will you be able to do it as a manager or director? Even more powerful, those of you without a formal people leader title, can you align your co-workers and maybe your supervisor without having the formal title?

All too often we focus on how to be a great leader, great communicator, and similar skills that most of us attribute to being advanced. I’ve spent the last 8+ years reading all the management, leadership, and communications books I could find. While these are critical, there are other parts to being advanced and I now believe business acumen is one of the most critical. It's expected that you simply have business acumen. If you don’t have this critical piece it will be very difficult to advance to or past the role of manager.

Let's have a great week -don

Taking A Break

It should be noted that at the end of November I transitioned from IT to Operations.  Between November and February I was consumed with getting up to speed in my new role.

This is a great career opportunity for me and I expect it will help solidify my future career ambitions and needs.  Above all it gives me the opportunity to get out of IT and do something different.

Thinking Exercise - Succesion

Today I’d like to simply leave you all with a short thinking exercise.  If your supervisor left their position(s) tomorrow, who would take their spot?  Who’s ready?  Who could I just put in their position(s) and expect the group to function as it had prior to their departure?  This is what I ask myself often.  To be clear I don’t expect either to leave but we need to be ready if they were to leave.   

Could I put one of you in their position and if so what areas would you need assistance?  Would the team welcome and respect you as their leader?  Would your peer supervisors?  What would you do to earn their respect?  What would you do different than your predecessor?  Why?  Could you manage your manager (could you manage me)?  Who would fill your role?  How would you transition your duties and run the group?  Would you have time to do both roles?  What else do you think you would be concerned with? 

There’s really no right or wrong answers.  This is just something to get you to think.  Opportunities typically do not give the unprepared a chance to get ready.  There are rarely any timeouts.  They typically come along with little notice and often go to the person who is most prepared to take advantage of said opportunity.  Are you prepared or preparing for an opportunity should one come your way? 

It is my hope and the purpose of this whole initiative that when opportunities pop up, we will have a strong pool of powerful and ready people leaders to pick from. 

More to come -don

Getting Started

Last year all our company's First-Level leaders were required to attend the First Level Leadership Training course.   First Level Leaders are Specialist 2 (Individual Contributor 3) and Supervisors.  All of you will be working toward becoming First Level leaders. 

Attached you will find a .pdf document with the information that was covered in the above mentioned class for First Level Leaders.  <this message was formerly an inter-office email sent out and the referenced documents are considered company confidential and cannot be shared on my blog>  This and other related material can also be found on our employee portal site.  Eventually we will need to see about getting you all or a subset of you in to the formal training when it is offered.  We’ll worry about this next year.  For now, I’d like you all to become familiar with the material and the Leadership Development section of employee portal. 

While this is not required reading for you I’d highly encourage you to read it at your leisure.  It is expected that Front Line leaders know this information and act in accordance with it.  We’ll talk more about this when we meet.  For now I’d just like to make sure you are aware that there are some formal company leadership requirements that you all can knock out early.

As a reminder and a theme of what we’re doing here, you have to be ready when the opportunity presents itself.  We’re going to take the best candidate for the role and if that’s not you or you weren't ready, it may be some time before another opportunity comes about.  When that next opportunity comes there may be even more qualified people to compete with or even more requirements the position is looking for.  You have to be ready when the time comes!  Our goal with this unsanctioned program is to make sure that when an opportunity presents itself you all are:  

1. Ready for the role 

2. The best candidate for the role 

3.  You hit the ground running in the new role

I can NOT stress this enough, you have to be ready when an opportunity presents itself! 

Lastly, if you have not done so, please make sure you have done your IDP (Individual Development Plan.)  You should also make sure the career aspirations section says Supervisor if that is your next step!  Your IDP should also include some things you’re going to do to get you there.  People do look at these but more importantly, by writing down your aspirations, plans, strengths, and weaknesses you are committing to yourself (even if it’s brief) that you are doing this.   It also makes a strong statement to your leader and your leader’s leaders. 

This is your future!  -don  

Welcome to the Group

Your name was given to me by your supervisor because you have expressed desire or interest to be a people leader.  This is a huge step in your career as many people with ambitions to go this route do not ever let anyone know and thus continue to get passed over until they either give up the desire or go somewhere else out of frustration.  By stepping forward you all are already ahead of those who keep their desires or interest to themselves. 

What I’d like to do is help you all get the knowledge you will need  to be ready to assume a people leader role should the opportunity come up.  To be clear, this is in no way a guarantee you’ll get a people leader position.  I simply want you all to be ready when an opportunity presents itself. 

Over the last 10 years I’ve learned a lot in the areas of management, leadership, people leading, business acumen, and self-improvement.   Some of this (actually a lot of this) has been through learning the hard way and a lot of what I share with you will be based off these hard lessons learned.   I have managed, mentored, and helped develop a lot of different IT analyst in to people leader roles along the way.  I’ve learned a  lot from each of them during this time and I continue to learn more as I watch these leaders progress (and sometimes struggle) in their roles.  By no means am I an expert at developing others but I’m continually refining and improving my skills.  I’d like to help you all develop into great leaders and high-potential management candidates.

In the coming weeks and months we’re going to have some meetings, I’ll assign you all some work or topics to look in to, maybe a book or two to read, and we’ll have some frank discussions on topics that relate to all of this.  None of this will be mandatory and if you wish to opt out I’ll respect your decision to do so.  While I’m not a formal teacher and I make no guarantees, I believe I can help all of you better prepare for your future career success. 

I’m pretty excited for the opportunity to help you all and I’m really looking forward to it.  -don